Wow, what a day. Very good and very hard. After a meeting with my boss, I've decided to start back to work full time starting Monday. I've still been responsible for all my regular work but trying to cram it into 5 hours a day and it just means no one is happy. I'm not quite sure how to not lose my mind, but the demands at work aren't flexible so it's better to just go back to work.
I had a very good cry in the car at the hospital and then, as I was walking down the hall to the ICU I had an experience that made me cry even harder. As I turned the corner from the stairwell, a woman was standing against the wall. I She saw my visitor badge that I put a picture of Simon on. After I had passed her and was about 20 steps away, she said, "Is that your baby?". When I said yes, she said "he's beautiful. What's wrong with him?". I said, "He's in heart failure." Then there was a pause, as it was obviously her turn to say why she was there and she said, "My baby passed. She passed the day before yesterday"
I dropped my bags on the floor and walked over to her and asked her if she wanted a hug. She nodded and we held each other and swayed and didn't cry and didn't talk for about 20 seconds. Then I asked "what was your baby's name?" She told me and we hugged some more. Then I stepped back and told her my name and she told me hers and we shook hands. She told me how hard it is to lose a child. She had to pull the plug and was holding her child when she died. She didn't cry or really even show any emotion the whole time. I gave her another long hug and then I walked down the hall to Simon.
I walked in and Simon was super chipper and cute, hanging with Laura and my Mom. He fed and then we went on a WALK! We were allowed to walk outside of the ICU for 10 minutes so we went to the courtyard and Simon was in heaven in the sun. We get to do that every day! We'll upload pics of the adventure when we get home.
The other news is that Simon is having surgery tomorrow to put in a more permanent IV. It's scary because of course there is some risk involved, but really we have no option and it will mean that they can draw blood and give him meds if they need to without having to stick him anymore. They tried to draw blood 2x today without success and haven't been able to get a PICC, so it's really time.
So so glad it's the weekend.