Friday, July 10, 2009
It's like he saves it just for me. I don't understand it and it makes me just want to cry. We have another morning just like a typical morning. Not as bad as yesterday but still with puking and a change of clothes for both of us. We go to visit Jaime for lunch and he's a dream. Standing and smiling and playing shy but really flirting with folks. Then when we get into the car he falls asleep for the last five minutes of the drive.
And that's his nap.
No more sleeping.
I'm really about to lose my shit. It's just the two of us though and nobody else gets to witness the "love". Add to that that there's still no obvious preference for his primary caretaker and I'm wondering if he's trying out new forms of torture for some covert gov't operation that we don't know about.
I know he's cutting three molars and hitting that huge development marker (they say 15months is often called the 'milestone' month). He's wanting so badly to have started walking yesterday. And, in general still the happiest jabbering-est baby on the block.
It still feels like all the crap is just reserved for me.
He lights up when Jaime gets home.
He's done with all his feeding so there's very little chance to puke on her.
It seems to be his most active time of day with the most incredible babbling happening between 6pm and 7pm.
Weekends are also his time to be 'on' it seems with less puking, and great napping (no doubt from all the stimulation and activity that easier with two parents versus one).
Maybe he just loves Jaime more. Wishes she were the stay at home Mom
I know. You don't have to say all those rational things to me.
I'm not in a rational place right now.
I need a good weekend. I need a reset.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I was born in 1973.
The phone we had in the 500 Kappock Street apartment throughout my childhood in the Bronx had a rotary dial. My mother did work for IBM though and by the time I was in High School we had a computer and were even among the first folk that got to experiment with this new thing called the internet...I can't even remember the name of the program but it doesn't exist now.
In college it was so exciting that there was this thing called electronic mail where you could send a message to another student at the school. You had to go to one specific computer lab but it was still way cool.
So when our internet went out last week you would think that having lived half my life without it, I should be fine.
I was just barely ok.
When our land-line went out too, our cell phones were running out of minutes, Roxie scratched her eye and was requiring more medical care than Simon, and Simon was having a couple of days with either a really short nap and/or it was non-existent, I almost lost my mind.
Really. I haven't been that close to the edge in a while. To have all that happening AND not be able to be in touch with folks the way that I am used to being in touch, sucked. I felt so isolated and for someone that's working hard at not being isolated anyway given everything else that we've been dealing with, well, let's just say that there was a straw and a camel and need for a chiropractor.
Then there was the getting ready and actual travel down to L.A. to see family for the 4th of July weekend. There was all the typical getting packed and stuff but add in all the calls to our Dr's here to get referrals for Dr's there, making actual contact with Dr's down there, the special medication needs (3 out of six are refrigerated AND we had just enough to get us through Monday and therefore needed to make a special refill trip to the CHO pharmacy), dropping the dog off at the Pet Hospital (way too reminiscent of Roxie's time at Animal Control - Jaime and I were both sobbing as we left her shivering in a cage) and then Jaime told you about the drive...once again I nearly lost my sh*t.
Every 20 minutes.
Every 20 minutes my entire body would go tense.
Every 20 minutes I would twist around from the front seat to wipe vomit and check for choking.
Every 20 minutes Simon would heave and hork and spit up and/or Vomit.
Every 20 minutes.
AND....then we got down there and he slept and partied like a champ. We swam, we played, we had family meals. We managed the heat ok. I got to hang with my sister who I love love love. Maya (my niece) and Simon were a delight to watch together and the little man blessed us with 11-12 hour nights of sleep. He clearly appreciates the seedy Motel. Even the drive home was relatively uneventful with just one wake up when we stopped for gas. Otherwise, sleeping like a baby.
I love being with my sister and Maya and Frank.
But Holy Cow, I love being home. And, it only took two days of wrangling with AT&T to get back online and have a phone again. And, those two days are over so it's all good.
Roxie may need to go to a Doggie Opthamologist for surgery and/or a doggie contact lens but that's a bridge that's a little ways away. Now that other things are back in order I can almost laugh at that. Then three out of the four of us will have required major medical intervention in the recent past. Ridiculous.
We had a rough blood draw on Monday to check Simon's clotting factor. Two weeks ago his INR was a little low (blood too thick) and they upped his dose of Coumadin (that's the medication that he takes that's also found in rat poison- gotta love it).
They wanted to check it in two weeks and now have found that it's too high (blood too thin). So we have another dosing regiment of switching doses every night to see if it will balance out. I'm ok with managing that new level of detail but what I hate is the having to go back for another blood draw in two weeks. Simon is a hard 'stick' and this last time it took almost 30 minutes of poking and restraining and blood curdling screaming for them to get a draw. Jaime did it this time and I don't know what was worse, having to hear the screams from the waiting room (I eventually left and walked down the hall- no good, he's got quite the set of lungs- Opera singer for sure like his PopPop) or being in there with him.
I'll tell you in another 2 weeks when we go back, dang it. I hate blood draws. I was so excited to have them spread out to once every four months. I hope that the next one says that we've struck a balance and can get back to that schedule.
Otherwise, so much to look forward to in the coming weeks. County Fairs, MM and PopPop coming for a visit, the Fitch-Dipanes coming up from L.A., walks around the lake, swimming time at the Y, Aunties everywhere, getting back to a groove, etc etc. I feel it already with a lovely morning meet up with our friends Wowlven and Elka Rose before swim time. An easy going down for a nap and some mellow time for Mommy- Yay!
I missed blogging. I'm glad to be back to it and sharing and not feeling so isolated. Plus there are fabulous pictures to be shared from Pride weekend and our LA trip.
Enjoy and thanks for coming along this nutty nutty ride.
Simon takes his Pride seriously.
Check out the thoughtful
"I'm working so hard at this flag waving I have to stick my tongue out"
Some one loves their Gay Mama-
A very rare mouth kiss from Shimmy
Simon and his 1st cousin Maya sharing the slinky. Such a wonderful toy...
"Dude, southern California is awesome.
You go and swim in the warm pool and then come back to central air in the apartment. Plus, I look Abercromie&Fitch-good in a scarf."
"My Mommy dunks me sometimes and I'm ok with that."
Jaime here (DSL is still down at home, so I thought I’d throw y’all a bone with a little update).
Well, Simon just survived his 2nd trip to L.A. since he was born (the first was when he was 2 months old). We drove down Thursday night and drove back up Sunday night. Holy hellaroni was it a crappy drive down! We didn't hit the road until 8 p.m. and didn't get into our hotel until almost 2 a.m. Simon was puking every 20 minutes for the last 2 hours which was really awful for everyone.
We had a decent night’s sleep in our hotel and then walked over to Jen and Frank’s house (Laura’s sister and brother in law) to hang out with them and our 3 1/2 yr old niece Maya. We had a great weekend overall- swimming, eating, walking through the really fancy malls that are near them and some good sleep, actually. Simon was a little trooper- he’s really the easiest baby (minus the heart failure). He was pretty much content wherever we went, except when he got hot. His poor heart function makes the heat really unpleasant for him. We got a spritz bottle with a fan that he liked a lot but we managed to break it day 2. We may consider getting him something called a cooling vest that a lot of folks on our listserv have. It doesn’t get that hot that often up here though, so maybe next summer.
We also had a revelation on Saturday. Simon had been off his game for a week or so which had us really worried- busting a sweat a few times, not napping, puking more, just generally being off. Well, it turns out that the little man was busting THREE molars through at the same time. That would make me throw up too!
He’s really, really close to walking and generally is Mr. Independent. He hardly wants to be held these days- he wants to be on the ground, exploring, crawling, opening, tearing, standing, etc. It’s really cool to see and also sad because I just want to squeeze and snuggle and generally eat him up and he’s not having it.
It’s coming up on the anniversary of Simon’s admission to the hospital (August 1st). It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year and that it’s only been a year. We’re planning a little quiet time to reflect that day, I think.
We’ll post pics of the little guy once we get DSL back up (hopefully Sat at the latest). He’s due for a haircut, I’m sad to say. I guess we could go with the celebrity trend of letting him grow his hair into a long and flowing mane, but really, who wants to wash barf out of his hair all the time? Not me and I know not Laura, so a little trim may be in order.
Hugs all around