Friday, July 10, 2009

Just for me

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Day two


It's like he saves it just for me. I don't understand it and it makes me just want to cry. We have another morning just like a typical morning. Not as bad as yesterday but still with puking and a change of clothes for both of us. We go to visit Jaime for lunch and he's a dream. Standing and smiling and playing shy but really flirting with folks. Then when we get into the car he falls asleep for the last five minutes of the drive.

And that's his nap.

No more sleeping.

That's it.

No Nap.

I'm really about to lose my shit. It's just the two of us though and nobody else gets to witness the "love". Add to that that there's still no obvious preference for his primary caretaker and I'm wondering if he's trying out new forms of torture for some covert gov't operation that we don't know about.

I know he's cutting three molars and hitting that huge development marker (they say 15months is often called the 'milestone' month). He's wanting so badly to have started walking yesterday. And, in general still the happiest jabbering-est baby on the block.

AND

It still feels like all the crap is just reserved for me.

He lights up when Jaime gets home.
He's done with all his feeding so there's very little chance to puke on her.
It seems to be his most active time of day with the most incredible babbling happening between 6pm and 7pm.
Weekends are also his time to be 'on' it seems with less puking, and great napping (no doubt from all the stimulation and activity that easier with two parents versus one).

Maybe he just loves Jaime more. Wishes she were the stay at home Mom

I know. You don't have to say all those rational things to me.
I'm not in a rational place right now.

I need a good weekend. I need a reset.

1 comment:

Mom to Be April 09 said...

I know I'm a little late responding to this - things have been hectic since we are post-transplant now. But, I did want to respond. It sounds like you may need a break! Take some time to yourself if you can. And remember that we let ourselves go to pieces with the people we trust most, so maybe its just that Simon feels like he can go to pieces with you...because you will take care of him, no matter what. Not trying to rationalize, just empathize. But, really...try to take a break - even if its just for a few hours on the weekend or something. You deserve it!