Friday, September 26, 2008

Ashford and Simpson

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Solid as a Rock....
Shimmy's been having some solid days here in the Annex and while there's been a little more spitting up today (just a smidge more noticeable) he's in great spirits, standing like tree, playing with his toes and napping regularly. We're really getting the hang of this schedule and while I still have one toe in the pool of uncertainty and fear, I'm mostly swimming in the lake of 'loving my days' with the little man.
We continue to make friends around the hospital on our daily strolls with Osiel in the cafeteria now giving Shimmy a daily wave from behind the fryalator, Tony and Nick at the Ambassadors desk and of course Esther from Security. It's nice to have a regular route. Today several nurses were in the cafeteria after a training and when we were doing our lap Simon just kept getting stopped for smiles and cooes. He really is a love magnet. Here he is working his charm on some of the nurses.
I'm still working through some of the loss around breastfeeding and lactation but our days are filled with arms reaching out for each other, neck nuzzles, and delicious smiles when waking from naps. It's also amazing to see him respond so distinctly to Jaime when she gets here from work. We are a family. Our baby boy lives at the hospital right now but that doesn't make us any less of a family. In fact I think somehow we're all feeling the bond stronger and more distinctly now because of it or in spite of it, or something...silver lining, lemonade out of lemons, blah blah blah. Here's Simon waking up from a nap. We didn't get a BNP number this week and I'm almost glad for that. It's just a number. I would like to know if we're on an upward or downward trend but I can wait another week. I'm trying to believe the doctors when they say it's really more about his symptoms than any test results. His symptoms are almost non-existent. He'll be breathing harder after some exertion (like trying to roll over and getting frustrated) and sometimes just breathing a little harder when he's excited. Also, he'll sometimes heave a little when there's too much stimulation or when he first sees me in the morning (I'm not taking it personally). The sweating has decreased quite a bit. It's all still a bit tenuous though. I'm just working on breathing.

Napping with Simon in my arms is such a delightful thing. I imagine that my heart spends sometime talking to his heart about staying calm and beating steady and slow. I imagine my breath calling to his. Reminding his lungs to go deep but remain relaxed. I love feeling and smelling the air that goes in and out of his nose, so close to my cheek. And, I love that one hand that reaches out for my forearm or the top of my shirt to touch skin while he's just going down or having a restless moment in light sleep.
Just dreamy.
Yay for Fridays and two whole days with Jaime here.
More images from the last few days.

Simon enjoying a bath for the first time.

Shimmy making use of the flat screen TV (it's not on- He likes to look at the Good Lookin' baby in the reflection)Getting ready to head out for a meet & greet (un-official title= Mayor of the PICU)

Love and thanks to you all.


1 comment:

karen said...

oh. My. Gawd he's so adorable! We thanks the heavens for some moments of calm and appreciation of the blissfully mundane. Enjoy! Hope to to see you soon

K, f, a