Today I felt like I had fire in my belly for the first time since all this mishegas started. All day yesterday Simon wasn't that interested in nursing. We learned that what they were fortifying his breast milk with (for extra calories) was in fact just formula powder. Well, we know that Simon does not take well to formula and after a wonderful conversation with Amrit, our midwife and lactation professional, we decided to try ask (or gently demand) that they stop adding bovine powder to his milk and that he'll no doubt be getting his extra calories from the extra nursing that they're saying that he can do (but won't do while he's having such wicked digestion issues with the fucking formula that they're adding to my breast milk...derrr). Who wants to eat when it feels like there's a rock in your stomach? (That's my stone reference)
There was some initial resistance to it and I got to practice my non-defensive communications skills with our fabulous but sometimes 'set in their ways' practitioners. Instead of needing to beat it into their heads (I was imagining holding a bat and swinging away- that's my stick reference) I waited calmly and talked with the resident, then with the Fellow, then the attending, and last but not least our primary cardiologist (both of them, Hunkypants & Newkhumet-the Cardiologist on call).
There was some concern about him not getting the calories that he needs but if he can nurse on demand AND he's not spitting up, which he was starting to do, then that's taken care of.
Huge thanks for Amrit, our midwife, lactation specialist, wise woman extraordinaire for not only giving me the info that I needed but also reminding me that I can partner with these amazing medical practitioners in getting what's best for Little Simon Lev. So we'll do this for a couple of days, make sure he's gaining weight and go from there. If my milk sits around for more than a few minutes outside of my body or Simon's it starts to separate and I can literally see the fatty goodness that he's getting with every feeding. Go Breast Milk!
And there you have it...Stones, Sticks, and Breast Milk.
I'll be staying the night in the ICU to be able to give the little man the boob on demand tonight and we'll see how it goes. A night with out Jaime- not so much fun. But, our days are going well and with my Dad and other folks showing up while Jaime's at work it's feels manageable.
I think we can hunker down now, make bed #22 home, and work some healing magic. The ICU was for saving his life and getting him stable. Now comes the work of getting better.
Love to all