Friday, October 2, 2009
I know we have great friends. I know that our community is made up of very very special folk.
I am blown away.
So, Jaime had put it out there on Facebook that she had just filed official adoption papers for Simon and had commented on how asinine, let me repeat, ASININE, it is that she has to pay $700 dollars and go through a home visit and court appearance to adopt her own child. I can't even begin to say how offended I am by the process that even though Jaime and I were domestic partners long before we had Simon (married even in the state of CA) we still have to have a social worker come to our home, check us out, requiring four character references, and $700 dollars (and that's only because we are doing it ourselves and not hiring a lawyer saving us hours of busy work and thousands of dollars) to have the rest of the country recognize Jaime as Simon's mother.
That's right. If we left the state and (poo poo) something happened to me and/or Simon and I at the same time, Jaime might not be allowed to see us in the hospital, make decisions and/or automatically be given Simon to care for. Not to mention if (poo poo) something happened to Jaime Simon would not be eligible for Jaime's Social Security benefits because she is not seen as his mother on a federal level.
But enough about that....
So Jaime has put it out on facebook so folks could be happy for us in her finally becoming a true "parent" to Simon (please read that with extreme sarcasm). About a week later a letter comes to us in the mail from our good friends Daniel and Katie (dear friends from Jaime's stint in North Carolina at Grad School). They are not lottery winners. They are not independently wealthy. They are in fact both students (PhD and MD respectively) AND have a new baby themselves. Not rolling in it.
In the envelope is a beautiful picture of themselves (Eli the kid is quite a looker), a lovely card with pears on it, and......a check for $100 that we are required to put towards Simon's adoption fees. They "will not take it back" and if we are too proud (which we are not) to cash it for Simon's fees we should please donate it to a worthy marriage equality organization.
I was rendered speechless with a heart that threatened to burst with love and pride in our amazing friends and their very very powerful ally action. Who does that sort of thing...so personal, so political, so out of the blue, so loving, so righteous (in the literal and 70's slang sense of the word)?
Our friends do that. That's who.
It felt incredible. We are soooooo blessed.
Oh yeah, and we have our home visit this coming Wednesday. Any one want to dog-sit our psycho pooch? Jaime may be a perfectly acceptable 2nd parent. I don't think Roxie would make that good of an impression.
Love to all.