Friday, May 8, 2009
My heart moves around
In 36 years I've really put my body through it. I've broken important bones, bruised organs, lost a few brain cells, and had almost every system in my body be out of commission or fairly damaged for some time (long and short periods). However, except for a very tiny tear (very tiny) in my aorta, I have never had any heart problems.
That is until I birthed a baby. And while it might look like Simon is his own person, complete with working arms, legs, eyes, nose, mouth, etc, he is in fact exactly what my sister said he would be, my heart living outside my body. So how ironic is it that it took me letting my heart go and live outside my body for it to also incur some truly difficult times.
Today is my birthday and I get to wax metaphorical and emotional.
I also find it funny that on my birthday most of what I'm thinking about is my mom. Certainly my mom and Dad but really all I know about is what a mom goes through on her child's birth day. Sure, there are an infinite number of experiences that moms have on their children's actual birthdays, because there are an infinite number of birth stories out there.
I know that my birth story is different than Simon's birth story. But, it was birth and I know that I was changed forever in that moment that he was lain on my chest, and then again when I thought that his time in this life was going to end too quickly after it seemed like it had just started.
Birthdays are changed for me forever. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I think I know what they're really like now. Since we can't remember our own, it's as close as we can get. I am so grateful for the two that I got to be a part of; my own and my son's.