Mahalo, Mamaw

We just had one of the best vacations of my life!

My Mom (aka Mamaw) turned 65 this year and for her birthday, she decided that she wanted to take her family to Hawaii for a week.  I know, crazy right?  I remind you that this is the woman that drives an hour each way every week to give us a date night.  I am forever racking my brain to figure out how to pay her back for the weekly generosity.  After this trip, I have a monumental challenge.

This post should also be "Mahalo, Laura".  Laura made it possible for me to have one of the best vacations of my life with Simon there.  While I was reveling in the delight of the warm, tropic breezes and enjoying our excursions , she continued to manage all the logics of Simon's care.  She blended and froze*6* double batches of his food in the short week between this trip and the trip we had the week before to Albuquerque.  She made sure all his documents for travel were up to date.  When we were out and about in Hawaii, her internal clock kept Simon's feeds and meds and (potential) naptimes happening when they needed to happen.  She calculated how much colder the ice packs were that we brought and if we were out, how far in advance his food needed to get off the ice pack so his food wasn't frozen when it was time for a feed.  She kept Simon and his care front and center in her mind on this trip as she does always, and it gave me the space to have an amazing experience.  And, as you might imagine, keeping track of all those details in a new place, with 5 other people in the mix made for a trip that was not as relaxing and enjoyable as my experience.  She still had fun, but it really wasn't DOWN TIME.  I think any primary parent will attest that traveling with your charges, even if the locale is beautiful, is a little like taking your laptop to the beach.  The scenery is pretty but you still have to work.   It was a learning lesson for me.  Figuring out how to take more of those pieces on is something I really want to be mindful of on our next vacation.

 

 

Saturday (6/23)

We (me, Laura, Simon, my Mom, my stepdad, my Aunties Judy and Kris) all met at the Oakland airport in the morning to wing our way to the island of Hawaii.  After an uneventful flight (Simon napped!) we landed in warm, sunny Kona at noon, with a full day ahead of us.  We got our rental cars and headed out to our amazing condos at Holua Resort at Mauna Loa Village. Ours was a gorgeous 1 bedroom bigger than our apartment at home, with a full kitchen, king bed and best of all, a fold out couch in the living room, which meant that we got to sleep in a different room from Simon for a week.  Ahhhhh sleep. 

We hit the grocery store, came home to unpack and then went out for some of the best Thai food ever.  After lunch, we went for a dip in one of the *8* pools in the complex. Laura and I put Simon to bed and then headed out to our balcony to read for a bit in the warm night air.  It was delightful. 

View from our balcony

Directly under our balcony

 

Living room of other condo

Pool directly outside our unit

 As you can see, it was a pretty awesome place to stay!

 

 

Sunday (6/24)

Despite the fact that Simon woke up at 3:30 a.m. due to the time change, we had a great day.  We watched tennis players right outside our condo (Simon is a little obsessed).  We also learned about a new game called Pickleball that I describe as a senior citizen version of a cross between tennis and ping pong.  Simon could not get enough of Pickleball.  Like, ever.  We sat for an hour at a time watching people play.  I'm all about free, convenient entertainment for my kid, so it was awesome.

We went to beach with a totally treacherous way in (craggy lava insanity) but it was worth it.  Simon played in the shallows with me and every one else took turns snorkeling.  While my Mom was hanging onto a boogie board, a dog climbed up her back to get onto the board.  While she got a pretty good scratch, my Mom (and the rest of us) thought it was bizarre and quite hilarious.  Surfer dogs.  Gotta love Hawaii. 

We forgot to take pics.  Oops!

 

Monday (6/25)

 Our first venture to the local beach looked like this: 

Yep, that's a big ole sea turtle.  RIGHT THERE.  

It also looked like this:

Famous Hawaiian Shave Ice

That night, we went out to dinner to celebrate my Mom's birthday (it was May 11th, but it's never to late to celebrate). We had tasty food and an amazing view of the sunset and a garden for Simon to romp around in with his aunties when he got tired of sitting.

Auntie Judy and Simon checking the garden

Simon next to fresh lemongrass growing.  I had no idea that's what it looked like!

 

The FJ Family with Grandpa Eddie

 

Tuesday (6/26)

This day was totally over the top.  Simon and Laura had a 9:15 a.m. appointment with a dolphin.  No joke.

First we drove through what looked like moonscape to get to the Waikoloa Hilton.

We were in a hurry to get there so that Simon and Laura  could get up close and personal with dolphins.

We rented a room for the day (who knew you could do that!) so we could have  a fridge for Simon's food, showers and a place to take a nap if we needed to.

View from the balcony of our room

View from the front door of our room

Then we went swimming in the amazing pools

Swimming is HARD work!

 

Please note my step-father in my Mother's hat in the background

 

Some of us went down waterslides:

That afternoon, our friend Chewy, who lives on the other side of the island (a few hours away), flew in from a visit to California and crashed with us for a few nights so she wouldn't have to drive back any forth before her Mom flew in on Thursday.

Laura, Chewy, Mamaw

 

Wednesday (6/27)

Chewy brought coconuts, avocados and mangos in the back of her truck.  And a machete.

Simon, chilling in the parking lot drinking fresh coconut water from a bamboo straw Chewy happened to have in her truck. I love a prepared woman!

In the morning we went to a Farmer's Market and cracked fresh macadamia nuts, samples bizarro fruits and poked around at odds and ends.  That afternoon, we went to a playground and Simon ran around like a wild man.

 Later that day, we went into the town of Kona and stopped in a Flea Market to get fresh fruit.  We got mangos, mountain apples, lychees and pineapple.  The woman threw in a free strawberry papaya just because.  They were all awesome.  We walked around Kona for a while:

Beautiful flowers everywhere!

 Simon, goofing in Kona

 

Thursday 6/28

This day was not so good.  In the morning as we were planning our day, my Mother began to have chest pain with pain radiating down her arm. I sat through a "Women and Heart Disease" lecture about 15 times at a former job and the thing I remember most was that women often have vague symptoms, don't want to bother anyone and often don't go to the hospital to get help until there is already damage.  We talked about what to do for about 5 minutes before I made the executive decision that we were calling 911.

My stepdad and I spent all day in the ER of the podunk Community Hospital with my Mom while they ran all sorts of tests.  The highlight was the "IV intepretive dance" I created on the spot to distract my Mom while they put a bigger bore IV in so they could do a CT with contrast on her lungs.

The low points were listening to all the trauma and drama around us.  There was some nasty stuff going on, including the middle aged woman we were sharing the tiny curtained off area getting diagnosed with, wait for it...Congestive Heart Failure.  I felt a little lightheaded with that gone. There was also a young guy with some major trauma who ended up getting intubated.  I was really ready to get the hell out of there. (FYI, she ended up getting discharged the next morning with antibiotics for a suspected lung infection and started feeling better within 24 hours.)

When I was home that night after my stepdad came back to be with my Mom at the hospital, I just sat in the car with Laura and cried uncontrollably for about 5 minutes.  It was kind of bizarre and totally the appropriate response given the PTSD we likely both have from Simon's hospital time.

We decided to go to Kona and walk around town to clear my head.  It was perfect.

Iris, an incredibly sweet Israeli woman we met who was working at a shop on the strip.  We stopped and chatted for at least 30 minutes.  Of course, she fell in love with Simon.

 

Simon was desperate to see hula dancers and we managed to actually find a Luau across a little inlet and "poached" some hula.

Friday 6/29

We found the MOST amazing playground on this day

Each picnic table is in the shape of one of the islands

 

Picnic tables in the shape of each of the islands

Hand carved portraits of each of the kings and queens of Hawaii

We also got Simon some up close and personal hula at the shopping center near our condo.  The video didn't turn out so well from this, but Simon dug it.

This night Laura and Ed went on a night snorkel to swim with Manta Rays in the ocean!  No pics of this, but Laura said it was amazing and she had a 9 foot diameter ray inches from her.

No pics from their adventure, but for the record, this is what they were swimming with:

Saturday 6/30

This day we went to a cultural festival at a fascinating place called The City of Refuge.  This is the blurb from the National Park Site to explain what it represents:
Imagine you had just broken the sacred laws, the Kapu, and the only punishment was death.  Your only chance of survival is to elude your pursuers and reach the Pu'uhonua, a place of refuge.  The Pu'uhonua protected the kapu breaker, civilians during the time of war and the defeated warriors.  No harm could come to those who reached the boundaries of the place of refuge.

Mom making a beautiful garland for her hat.

 

Cool sand wheelchairs!

Kava (an herb often used to help reduce anxiety/insomnia).  Usually drunk in Hawaiian culture as part of a ritual but they were just serving samples.

Simon trying Kava.  It made my tongue and throat numb for a while but I sure felt mellow!

Simon fell asleep on the way home so we went to the South Kona Fruit Stand where we got mangosteen, rose apples, mangos, soursop, passion fruit, loquats and apple bananas.  Yum. Laura fell in love with this kittie there:

That afternoon, Laura, my Mom, Simon and I went to a beach that was less for snorkeling and more for waves.  Holy crap.  It was 10% fun and 90% terrifying for me (I'm a chicken when it comes to the ocean) but Simon LOVED it.  Twice he got slammed by a wave and knocked under (well, the adult holding him did-  once me and once my Mom- and he went under too) and each time, once he stopped sputtering, he demanded, "BACK IN THE WATER".  He is Laura's boy, that's for dang sure.

Simon and Laura post-ocean, both with slightly maniacal looks on their faces

 

Video of Simon surfing the waves

Please notice my dorky sun protection suit and glowing white legs and then notice the color of my son's legs.  Redhead at the beach v. Laura's genes at the beach.

Laura managed to even surf a little with our boogie board!

That night my Mom gave Laura and I date night and we went back into Kona and had some of the best fresh Ahi tuna (caught that morning) and walked around town once more.

Sunday 7/1

On our last day, Auntie Kris sprung for us to take a *Submarine* ride and go over 100 feet down in the water.  It was so cool!

Real, live shipwreck. 

Me, muffling Simon's very loud singing on the very small submarine

Laura and Simon on the boat to the sub

Mamaw and the Aunties on the boat to the submarine

Simon, on the boat to the submarine

When we got off the boat, we saw a big crowd gathered at the beach just across the parking lot from the dock.  Turns out there was a very rare monk seal chilling on the beach!  I found out later it was incredibly rare to get this close because there is a state law that mandates a 100 foot distance from them if you see them.  The line the marine specialist on scene drew was only about 10 feet and then at one point, the seal started halumphing up the beach directly at us (I got up with Simon and booked it) but it was only about 5 feet away for a few seconds.

Finally, just before we drove to the airport, Laura made a run here for the most amazing fresh poke (the tender delicious bits of fish left on the skeleton after a fish is filleted).

The plane was a bit late but I could care less because the waiting area is outside and it was a gorgeous day.  The flight was uneventful and thankfully the last half of the flight looked like this:

We got in at around midnight (ouch) and couldn't go to sleep until about 2 a.m. so the wake up at 6:30 the next morning (which was really 3:30 a.m. Hawaii time) really hurt.  But honestly, SO WHAT?  We got to go to HAWAII!!!!

Written by:

Jaime

Belated Thanks

As most of you know, Laura and I are incredibly blessed when it comes to family. This extends beyond our parents though. Blarry , as we affectionately refer to Laura's uncles Barry (Laura's mothers brother) and his partner of 30+ years Larry, are certainly part of this passel of amazing family. After ten years with Laura, I consider them my uncles too. In my haste to get a post out post-Albuquerque and due to sheer exhausted brain-fartedness, I did not give anywhere near proper thanks and kudos to The Uncles. Our entire trip was planned, executed and paid for by these sweet men. This is no small thing considering it involved travel and hotel for 3 people! The trip provided a new and such sweet level of family for me. I got to meet and feel connected to Larry's sisters, nieces, nephews and other family to whom I technically am distantly connected to. The whole trip was a wonderful reminder about what makes people family- to me it's love and the intention to call each other family regardless of bloodlines or legal decisions. Barry and Larry gave us more than a great trip to New Mexico. They gave us family. Sadly we didn't get any good pics of them on the trip and I'm blogging from Hawaii so I don't have access to other pics of them but fear not. They're coming. As is an epic post about Hawaii when we get back with a millions pics. Laura is doing a night dive with Manta Rays as I type this!

Coming soon

I have a post. It's been brewing for almost a week now and I can't seem to find time to get it out. It's about the life I get to lead with Simon. It's about gifts from uncles. It's about family, blood and otherwise. It's about welcomes and rejections. It's about vacations and the skin that Simon and I share. It's about days and weeks with no break and it's about the loving and unbelievable support from family. All kinds. It's about hoop dancers and dolphins too. It's coming....

Summer Fun

It has been quite a month in the Fitch-Jenett household.  Here's a brief update... 

We officially decided to let Simon's hair grow, since he has a total nervous breakdown every time we even touch his hair, let alone cut it.  He now looks like a European soccer star.

 

We thought we got accepted to an afternoon preschool program next academic year and then got possibly rejected.  We're still waiting to hear.  It's just as painful as it was the first time a few months ago.  This is probably the first of many times teachers/administrators will have "questions" or "concerns" before accepting him into programs.  It kinda makes me want to throw things.  I will resist and we will be patient and wait to see if they like our answers.  If not, we will temporarily freak out at the thought of Laura having to deal with Simon every afternoon next year.  Maybe I'll start putting the padding up on the walls now just to be safe.

On the bright side, Simon got accepted into Temple Sinai for summer camp and we got a scholarship from Chai Lifeline to help offset part of the costs. Hopefully he'll be running circles around our Hebrew by August.

We celebrated our 10th (!) anniversary together with an overnight (thanks Auntie Joan and Auntie Dre!) and spa treatments at the Claremont Hotel (used part of Laura's Mother's Day winnings) and a crazy expensive steak dinner using a gift card we got at Christmas.   It was delightful and relaxing and way too short.  We DID manage to remember how much we like each other, though.

This past weekend we went to Albuquerque  for the memorial of the father of Larry (Laura's uncle Barry's partner).  It was so sweet to see her uncles,  Laura's parents and sister + crew (they flew in from NYC and L.A. respectively) as well as meet extended family that has been keeping up with us since Simon got sick.

Hangin' with the old/new family.

With Auntie Pauline and Sesame Street 

Auntie Monica

Simon and his cousin Charlie

Eileen, taking a swing at the arcade

Laura, gearing up

Jen going a little crazy

Jaime, looking like a total psycho

Maya giving it the old college try

Fraaaaaaank!

Bernie, kicking some butt

Obviously we went to an arcade to work some stuff out.  It was awesome to see everyone let the beast out of the cage.  No one was seriously injured.  Honest. 

We stayed at the beautiful but HORRIBLY run Nativo Lodge.  Incredible potential, awful execution.  I can't even remember all the things that went wrong with everyone's rooms. It almost got funny.  Almost. Gorgeous though!

We ate an awesome breakfast at Garcia's Kitchen with a LOT of Christmas chili.  It was totally delicious.

We also completely rocked Simon's world by going to the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center where he got to indulge in his most persistent obsession- Native American drumming/singing/dancing.  We're trying not to have feelings about the white boy being obsessed with all things native.  He's 4.  He's too young to understand cultural appropriation, so we're going with it.

We have been making the pow wow circuit at home with his godmommy Joan for the last few months.  Joan is Ojibwe and head of an organization that serves Native Americans.  The organization sponsors/has tables at most of the major pow wows in the Bay Area.  Simon has been to probably 8 pow wows at this point.  The first one we went to this year, he was completely silent, still and un-distractable for about 2 hours while he sat in our laps and watched.  We got home and he immediately began to re-enact what he had seen, for HOURS.  Now, every night when I get home, he wants me to sit on the back porch and drum with him while he sings and sometimes dances.  At night, we have to put his drums up where he can't get them because he will start drumming and singing at 5 a.m.  He can tell the difference between Fancy Dancers, Traditional Dancers,Grass Dancers,  Chicken Dancers, etc.  We watch hours of YouTube video footage people have taken at pow wows all over the country.  So, this was kind of his dream...

 

I came home Sunday night and Laura and Simon were supposed to come home Monday night at 5 pm to give her time to meet me in San Francisco so we could be in the audience as our film played at the Frameline Film Festival.  Of course the universe had other plans, so Laura and Simon did not get home until almost 9 pm due to plane delays and I went to the film without her.  It broke my heart.  It was very well received and people asked about how Simon was and said they loved the film.  We're waiting to hear if it won audience favorite!

So, we're back for not even a week and then we head out to Hawaii for a week to celebrate my mother's 65th birthday.  We're totally exhausted and excited and ready for some lounging by a pool...