Monday, February 22, 2010

Pace & Perspective

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Simon is on the move. And we're so far behind that it sometimes feels like a million pound ball attached to my heart/ankle.

He's so amazing! He's walking!

Not on his own but he's walking for 1-2 city blocks at a time!! He'll hold on to just one finger or walk at an exciting clip down the sidewalk pushing his walker. For a hundred feet or more!

He won't take more than two to five steps on his own.
He's an interesting little man.

Our Infant Development Specialist from 'school' came by the other day for an in-home assessment and gave me a copy of the report to check out when she was done.
Like always, it's hard to see things quantified on paper. It's so much easier to look at the little man himself. I will say though that it's harder to watch him around his peers but easier than seeing it paper.

To recap:
Easiest to just be in the moment with Simon.
Harder to be in comparison
Hardest to have Simon quantified in a formal report in ink on paper.

There are some great life lesson type metaphors to be made but I'm just a little too tired right now (yes, I went to Bikram Yoga yesterday, got my ass kicked, and will do it again tomorrow).

As it stands Simon falls somewhere in the 10-13 month old range in certain things, 11.5-13 month range in other, and even the 18-21 month range in yet other developmental categories.

He's 22 and half months old.

It's really hard to have perspective around all this and so much of me just wants to trust in the love and support (and toys and games and challenges and language-except for the terribly inappropriate phrases) that I am giving him.
How evolved would I be if I could just let all of the fears and disappointments and need to go go go with the "right" development for Simon?

Super evolved.
I am not.

And yet, I feel most at peace and joy-full when I am not thinking about those things and simply enjoying swimming or going to 'school' or reading before nap time. I love those moments.

We are having good days and that's what matters.


Still... reports and numbers come into the room. They sit quietly but wear bright colors so you can't miss them. Sometimes they place themselves right in the middle of the room so that no matter where you move you bump up against them. It's not a harsh bump, not like scraping up against sandpaper or anything. More like a solid person with slippery cold clothing on. Enough to make you remember a different context/environment.

Simon's room is fun and warm and filled with softness and smiles ('show all your teeth' laughter even).

Reports and Numbers are not part of that. They feel different so you know when they're in the room.

I'm fine while they're here and....really appreciate it when they've left the room (but not the building)

Simon sets the pace. I try to have some perspective.

Then again, I think that sometimes no perspective at all is best and it's just about being in the moment.

F-ing hard.

And great.

But really, F-ing hard. (said with a smile)

The best climbing structures are made out of Grandma material
"Who dressed me?! For reals, who dressed me?!"

A boy walks with his Mommy
(please note the matching jeans and sweater vest style)

He makes a nice looking Bubbie

Not bad in jock-mode either

Muchas smoochas.

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